Trip To Rome

Joined
March 5, 2012
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#1
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"


"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"


"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"


"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."


"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."


"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."


"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."


A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.


"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"


"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."


"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."


"Oh, really! What did he say?"


He said, "Who screwed up your hair?" :lol:
 
Joined
January 26, 2012
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#2
Lol's, Buck.:lol:



Italian Fire Department
One dark night in a small town of Roselle Park, New Jersey a fire started inside the local sausage factory.
In a blink the building was engulfed in flames.
The alarm went out to all the fire departments
for miles around.

When the first fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, 'All of our secret sausage recipes are in the vault in the center of the plant. They have to be saved,
so I will donate $50,000 to the fire company
that brings them out and delivers them to me.'

But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
Soon more fire departments had to be called in
because the situation became desperate. As the
firemen arrived, the president announced that the offer to extricate the secret recipes was now $100,000!

Suddenly from up the road, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the
fire engine of the nearby Peterstown section of Eizabeth, NJ .

This fire department was composed mainly of Italian firefighters over the age of 65.

To everyone's amazement, the little run-down
fire engine, operated by these Italian firefighters,
passed fire engines parked outside the plant, and drove straight into the middle of the inferno!

Outside, the other firemen watched in amazement
as the Italian old timers jumped off and began to
fight the fire as if they were fighting to save their
own lives. Within a short time, the old timers
had extinguished the fire and saved the secret recipes.

The grateful sausage company president joyfully
announced that for such a superhuman accomplishment
he was raising the reward to $200,000, and walked
over to personally thank each of the brave elderly
Italian firefighters.

A TV news crew rushed in after capturing the event
on film. The 'on camera' reporter asked the Italian
fire chief,
'What are you going to do with all that money?'

'Wella,' said Chief Pasquale De Luccinelli,
the 70-year-old fire chief, 'de fursta tinga we gonna
do isza fixa de brakes on dat fockinna truck!!'