Well, that explains everything!! You're doing it all wrong. It has nothing to do with the alphabet or standing on one foot at all. You have to put your right foot in and then your right foot out. Then you do the hokey pokey and shake it all about! Try it! It works! Oh, and you have to hold your mouth right.
You know, that's the thing too. Everyone has their way and I have tried a lot of other people's "ways" and have found that some of it works for me and some doesn't. So, ny methods become a hybrid of others' methods, just like the rest of 'em.
I TL without ever getting it on me. Tumble them in a 20 ounce Gatorade bottle, dump them onto a piece of wax paper and spread them out with a stick. If I am feeling energetic, I may stand them all up one at a time with a pair of forceps and then walk walk away. Let them dry for a while and they are ready to go. Sometimes I don't even size the TL bullets. The many mini bands size so easily that they will deform easily as they enter the bore.
My lubrisizer,.... now THAT's messy! It has this annoying habit of extruding a big bullet lub turd up behind about every fourth or fifth bullet.

I knoe it's an antique and should be replaced, but I think it might be the dies and not the press. My best friend has a Star(?) that is heated and runs on compressed air. After a few minutes setting up, you drop a bullet ina nd pull the lever. Droop another in and pull the lever, rinse, lather, repeat as often as necessary. It works flawlessly, but it wan't cheap.
WOOHOO!! You say Tuesday you will know? Well, good luck, man! I'm pullin' for ya!